First I want to apologize for not posting for almost a week. School was crazy this week. I had an emotional weekend. Thank goodness for my best friend/boyfriend JBK!! I would not have survived this weekend.
This post is rated R for language. I'm sorry I need to get this off my chest to finally get some closure and end feeling sorry for myself and not to drag my sweet man in my pitty party no longer. So many unhappy memories from last year are flooding my brain and making me so upset even though I know have someone so much more amazing!!
Even though I have not talked to you since Oct. you still are in thoughts messing with me!!! Stop it!! I am so glad I have not seen you face to face since we broke up because right now I feel like I would punch you. Your fucking voice has been in my brain long enough. You telling me no guy will ever understand me or love me!! Guess what asshole I do!!! He loves me for me!! And guess what he even loves my family doesn't want to change them unlike you!! And my family loves him unlike you which I didn't know until after we broke up but oh well!! He also doesn't make me feel insignificant like you did to me!!! And guess what he also is in school and applies himself unlike you who plays video games while not working!!! He also takes me out on dates, treats me like a princess, comes to HC, wants to meet my friends, kisses me and hugs me and holds my hand whenever, etc!!! I'm also not getting a stupid fucking potted plant for Valentine's Day!! And that's all you gave me!! Like really!??? You were like it is creative. Bullshit!! You also waited a week to give it it to me!! You were like your present I thought long and hard!! You messed me up do fucking bad. I had to learn how to trust people and my family again!! I already had trusting issues but you made them 10X worse. Thank goodness I can trust JBK. And also he laid out his relationship history which is nothing but who cares!! Least he doesn't lie to me like you and CB did to me. You did something with her while you "dated" her for 2 weeks. She in return broke you and messed you up!! Even though she was still your best friend!! So in return you had to mess up someonelse to feel while again!! Which guess what!?? You fuming won that one!! No more!! I am through with shit! I'm done remembering certain dates and flashbacks that remind me how awful I have it!! I'm so dead serious. Then after you broke up with me you still wanted to be friends!!! How can I when you emotionally wrecked me!???
You also made fun of me that I met JBK online!! You are sad strange little boy while JBK is a strong amazing mature man!! He is also 10 million times of a man then you are!! He also wants to kick your white hairy ass because what you did to me!!
Ps He even remembers our anniversary and my birthday!!!!
I just need fucking get through the next 2 months!! Maybe after I write this I will be ok finally and everything will be better!! I hope so!! I think it will be!! If not then damn the next 2 months!! I can do this I have an amazing man who said to me last night WE can do this!! I will be with you every step of the way !! Thank you GOD for my JBK!!
Well that's all for now.