Thursday, January 31, 2013

If You Really Know Me.....

I have been in a blog runt and a runt in general. The weather here in Alabama is so bipolar. Last week if snowed last week then it was sunshine. Then yesterday there was a storm yesterday and now it was cold, windy, etc.

So I decided to do if you really knew me post so you can know more about me. This is a very serious post. Get the tissues ready.

If you really knew me I suffer from anxiety. Like I worry about everything. But mostly my grades, what people think, my family, and my friends. I take medicine for it.

If you really knew me I suffer everyday with depression. My depression has been on and off since I was 13. So almost 10 years.

If you really knew I almost killed myself when I was 17. I didn't have any friends. I had a lot going on.

If you really knew me I'm scared I'm going to lose JBK because of my anxiety and depression . And also I somewhat suffocate him as well. And I also feel like I'm going to lose him because of those things.

If you really knew me this time last year I was in a really bad place and I'm so glad I'm not there but I'm still struggle everyday.

If you really knew me my ex boyfriend screwed me up in so many ways and I'm struggle with it.

If you really knew me I am so glad I have JBK because he helps overcome those struggles. He encourages me. He talks when I'm down.

If you really knew I almost cried when I saw my weight at the Dr. last week. I'm the heaviest I have ever been. I'm ashamed myself.

If you really knew me I'm scared about graduating now in 93 days!!

If you really knew I'm a people pleaser.

If you really knew me I put others before myself.

If you really knew me I had to grow up when I was a kid. My mom's side of the the family is messed up. ( that's another blog post for another day) it got worse after I turned 13.

If you really knew me I'm the liberal one of my family. My family is conservative as all get out. Haha.

If you really knew me I don't think I'm beautiful even tho JBK thinks so.

If you really knew me I love my followers each and everyone of you!!

Thanks for listening to me.



Sunday, January 27, 2013

This Weekend..

 Linking up with Syndal and Sar. :) Love these 2 girls.



This weekend was not my favorite at all.  I was supposed to see JBK, but alas I got sick.

I have had a bad cough since Monday. It had been keeping me up. So finally Friday since I did not have my 1o'clock I went to the Dr. 

First off my appointment was at 2. I got there at 1:30. I did not get called back until 2:45. Pet Peeve. 

Then had to get my mouth swabbed to see if I had strep. Then a chest x-ray. Then I didnt see the see the Dr. until 3:30. Final diagnosis.


So I got a steroid shot in the butt, Allegra for a month, cough syrup, and this hunk of a pill 2x a day.

So when I told JBK my final verdict I cried. I knew he couldnt come down because he cant risk getting sick.  He has a very weak immune system and just got over from a really bad sinus infection. 

Apparently bronchitis is going around HC. Yuck. 


I still got up at 7 and went to support my sister MEC at her show choir competition. Because mom said I had to. I didnt get home until 10. Then I talked to JBK for a hour. 


The medicine is finally kicking in. I have been on and off sleeping all day. I can't risk missing class. So now I have been drinking fluids, soups, etc. 

I also have a few friends who have checked in on me. :) 


Friday, January 25, 2013

Happies and Crappies




 I had a 3 day school week since my Thursday class got canceled

99 Days Until I graduate

Hearing from my best friend LEA

Seeing my family tomorrow for MEC's show choir competion

JBK. Words can not describe how much this man means to me. 




I have bronchitis 

No seeing of JBK this weekend 

Mouth swabs 

No seeing my other best friend SBJ

Here's to a relaxing and homework filled weekend!!