Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Struggle

Since I got home in beginning of August I hate to admit this but I have been struggling. 

It is hard being back at home when I have been "away" for 5 years. A lot has changed since then. 

I lost my home church to put it nicely an egocentric pastor. So now my family is going to a different church. There is not a young adult group there. So now I'm looking for a women's small group to keep me accountable. 

I also have a few friends here too. I was never the girl with the tons of friends in school. I always had a few select friends. Most of them are younger then me so they are now at college. My few friends here either working or always busy.

I also have been struggling with long distance with JBK. It is so hard. It was so much easier when we were at school. Now with both of us having jobs it is hard. I have been very selfish lately. I just want him to all myself when I know I can't. It is also hard going a few days without talking to him. He has a lot on his plate right now. I just have to keep reminding myself that I will see him less then 2 weeks and my birthday is the week after that. Then our 1 year 3 weeks after that.  

I also struggle because this is the first  time I committed to workout out this long. It will be almost a month in 10 days.    
I'm so glad I am keeping up with it though. :) Even when I cry and want to throw up and sometimes I do. I know I doing it for myself. I also can see my hard work paying off. I am so proud of myself as well. I also love y'all's continued support. 




  1. I know this is tough, but I also know you can get through it all!

    I always swore I wouldn't move back to my hometown after college. I finished my undergraduate degree 4 years ago, and where am I? My hometown. I basically have no friends here. At all. I don't feel like I belong in my church anymore. And I get really, really frustrated with the fact that I feel like I'm stuck.
    But I just try to remind myself of everything GOOD that is happening. I have a job. I get to spend time with my parents. I have time to read and run whenever I want. I don't spend money by going out all the time. They may be small things, but they're what get me through it. :P

  2. Just keep the end goal in sight and eventually this will just be a small glitch of crappiness in the overall awesomeoness of your life. Just a small struggle you made it through :)

    I'm the same as Kate. I'm from a small town and of course, it was always "I'm getting outta here!" But, 11 years after graduation I'm still about 10 minutes away from my high school. It took a while to come to terms to it but now, as I'm older I can see the great our community is capable of and it's nice to be near family. Try to just keep looking at the positive and eventually you won't even be able to recall any negatives!

    We're here for you!