Sorry for Not Committing

So I am now doing 2 fitness and weight loss challenges!! 

 

I feel like a failure fir the first one because I have not been doing anything so this is an aplogy video/ life  recap video. 

Enjoy!! 

well that's an attractive face shot

The Bad The Ugly and The GOOD!!!

A year ago I was not the same person I am today. I know I repeatedly say this on this blog but it is the honest truth. When I look back I cringe. I can't not help but look how I lost myself for those almost 6 months I was dating MAG. I was self absorbed to the extreme. I was only happy when he was or any kind of emotion for that matter. My friends became nothing to me. I still cant believe they are still my friends. My family and I were not on good terms. Don't even ask about my relationship with God.

Everything to second fiddle to MAG. He was a "God" in my eyes. My anxiety and depression woah baby.. It was bad. I was off my meds literally. I was also angry with myself, God, etc. because he had taken the "one good thing" I had. Which to me was MAG. Not knowing it was the worst thing for me at the time.

So that summer was about finding myself again. I still am because there are days where I feel like when I was back then. Not as bad but still. It is a daily process.

However 7 months and 2 weeks ago I started talking to a guy on match. He was nice. He was annoying because he asked a lot of questions. He was sweet. He didn't care i wasn't asking questions back. he wanted to know me. He was 26 and never had a girlfriend. At first I was scared about that. But after praying about it God reassured me it was ok.

2 weeks after that we skyped the first time. I was so nervous. But you know what he was just like he was on those messages. That's when we both knew we wanted to date. But before we could he had to ask my dad. Yes I am old fashioned. Haha. So we decided Oct. 27.

Well on Oct. 20 I decided to surprise him at his school at a football tailgate. Best idea ever! I was so scared about that to. Was he going to be the same guy I had been talking to for a month. Boy he was so much better then expected. He came up behind me and hugged me. That's when I knew I was falling for him. He says that's when he knew he loved me. I gave him his first kiss that day and it hasn't been the same since.

The next weekend he asked my dad. and I started dating the man of dreams. He was everything I dreamed of plus more. He is my best friend. He loves me for me and all my quirkiness . He loves my family as his own. He tells me he loves me everyday and how proud he is of me. He doesn't get sick of me saying I love you. He holds my hand everywhere we go. Encouraging. Only he is going to get this next sentence. Makes some great eggs. ;). Considerate and caring. Has a relationship with God. Plus so much more.

I am so thankful for the past 6 months JBK!! :) I can't wait for the next 6 when celebrate our 1 year!! I love you so much my knight in shinning armor and my Superman.

Love your princess.

Friends

As I was thinking about to write about on this post I was thinking about my friends thru the years. :)

But the ones that stick out most are the ones that have been there.

Been there when high school drama came around you know you are.

Been there when college boyfriend is a major ass. And still be friends with me when I wasn't much one. Once again I'm sorry.

Been there on this blog reading about everything that is happening. You out of state peeps and Alabama peeps.

Been there when I am a pain the ass. When I am super emotional. Deal with my moods. Love me for me. When I complain. When I am happy. Just listening to me gripe. Help me to get out of this pit of despair which I am in again, being my best friend, my love of almost 6 months!! :)

So here's to you my dear friends. I love each and everyone so so much!! :)

How Much do YOU Love Me?

Hello Y'all. Guess who's back?? :) Haha. 

So today I started the Overcome the Lie 40 Day Challenge!! It is amazing how God moved last night in the twitter party!! 

The question today in the devotional how much does God love me?

It makes think of last year. Last year at this time  I was an angry, sad, depressed, anxious  etc girl. I let others define who I was not my heavenly Father.  And the thing is GOD, My Father in Heaven,  Elohim meaning strong one, plus many more still LOVED ME!! He loved Kaitlyn McCoy Carlton, sinner, broken, anxious, depressed, angry  ME! etc. 

 

He loves me for who I was back then even tho to me I was unlovable.  He cared about my hurts, struggles, my anxious heart, me being depressed, etc.  He worried about me like my parents did even though  I cared less about them. Because it was all about me. 

I believed all the lies Satan told me. I was never going to be loved again. My family did not care about me. My friends did not care. The only person that mattered was Satan and his lies. 

I was in a pit of despair. But I finally got out of that pit. Thankfully with much healing. 

 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalms 51:10

 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

 Psalms 40:2

 

So now as I look as the past year I see so many things God has definitely had a hand in. 

1. I have a better relationship with my family. 

2. I have an amazing boyfriend of almost 6 months in 11 days. Who loves me for me. Who does not yell, get angry with, make fun of me, who loves my family as his own, loves being with me, who says I love you, and so much more. 

3. An amazing group of women in AL bloggers

4. My amazing out of state blog women ( WHO I WILL MEET ONE DAY!!)

5. Overcome the Lie Women

 

6. My friends who did not leave when last year was rough. 

 

So much more. So I will leave you with this. This song I know is overplayed. But it is so true. 

 

 

 

Love, 

 

 

Blogging Hiatus

Hey Y'all. I'm on a blogging hiatus until the 16th!!! I have a HUGE paper due on the 15th!!! Then we are on the home stretch people!!! 2 weeks and 1 day until I'm done with undergraduate!! Then 3 weeks and 3 days until I graduate!! So I am leaving you with a new pic of me and JBK from Spring Break!!

Thankful Thursday

I am so thankful and so blessed in my life right now. If y'all would have known me this time last year you would would not have recognized me. I was sad, depressed, anxiety etc. woman.

Yes I am still have anxiety and sure I do get depressed now and then bad not as bad as I used to get.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me along this journey.

First off I want to thank my best friend Lauren. Lauren is the girl who got me to blog in the first place. She's one who has designed my blog both times. She's amazing. We have been through a lot these 3 years of our friendship. We have been through a boyfriend, heartbreak on my end, her graduating this past Dec, her coming clean to about her eating disorder, finding the one for me, etc. She is one of my sisters that God forgot to give me and for that I am truly thankful.

Annie, Nicole, and Erin. These girls are the bomb. Haha. You were the first few blogs I followed. I followed you because Lauren had. Y'all are so amazing. The relationship with Lord y'all have is one like myself. I can always relate to y'all in one point or another. When y'all did the Ablaze series it could not have come when I needed it the most. I am so thankful for that. I hope one day to meet y'all. Because I know we will not wanted to separated ever. Haha.

Sar. I don't know how I found you, but I'm so glad I did. You encourage me when I first started online dating. You were there cheering me on when I talked about JBK. We both rejoice everyday that we found our men in our lives. Thank you. ;) I hope to meet you.

Abbey. Girl where do I start. You are so amazing and awesome. You encourage when you don't even know it. I love that we are book people. I love everything about you. I hope to run 5ks like you one day.

My 2 Ks. Kate, Katie,. Haha. Oh Lordy where do I start. Us Dr. Who, John Green lovers have to stick together. Oh Lordy where have y'all been all my life!! :) and also encouraging me so much!!

Also thank you to others I have forgotten. I'm sorry if I forgot y'all.

Oh before I forget. I did not forget y'all. My sweet Alabama blog friends. Lord have mercy. I am so glad I have met some of you and for the ones I haven't met I can't wait to meet you!!! :) :) :).

Love,

Kaitlyn

Ps if I forgot you tell me and I will def add you in this post or do some other time I promise!! Because every single one of y'all mean so much to me!!

Weigh In Wed

This month along with Jess. I'm not weighing in this month. Me and the scale haven't been seeing eye to eye lately.

Part of it is my fault. Well all of it is my fault. I just haven't felt the need to work out which I know I need to do.

I have this huge paper due on the 15th I need to do amazing on it or else I don't graduate. It is the only thing coming between me and that diploma. I'm getting so scared and anxious that I'm not going to do well enough. I was 4 points away last time. 4 freaking points. Ahhh..

I am however doing this month long thing to work on my thighs. And I'm watching what I eat.

I'm sorry for being failure.

Love,

Kaitlyn

Weekly Goals

Today is April 1st. Where did March go!??? Haha. We are also 3 months into the year.

So my weekly goals.

 

I am also not weighing in this month. But I jumped on the scale to know what I was today so I know what to go by when I weigh in on May 1. 232.7lbs

1. Either go to the gym on a weekday or do Jillian Michaels.

2. Drink 100oz or more water

3. Start this lovely calendar of fun!!
Working on my thighs.

4. Eat my veggies and fruits :)

5. Track my food!!