Sunday, December 2, 2012

Honesty Time

Disclaimer: I am about to put my heart out there. Please be considerate.

A year ago today I was in a dark place in my life. My life was wrapped around one person not God. It was all about MAG. To me the world revolved us. It was about him all the time. If he was happy I was happy. If he was upset I was too. I let him control me, my emotions, everything. It was all about him. I put everything into our relationship not wanting anything back in return. When he said come over I would. Even if meant canceling plans with friends. He would withhold hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc if I did something wrong in his eyes. All my friends could see he was no good but I was too blinded by having my first ever boyfriend who "loved" me. He would affect so many things my family life, my friendships, my relationship with God, my school work, etc.

Then a year ago today I almost made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Here we go ( honesty time) I almost had sex with him. We were this close to having it and thankfully I stopped it. I am so glad I did. However that didn't stop us for doing other things.

3 almost 4 months later MAG broke up with me. I was an emotional wreck for the next 3 months. I was on and off crying. I was not wanting to go to school. I was depressed. I wanted to die.

However I was getting back to who I am as a person. I was laughing again, smiling, I had friends again, etc. I was blogging again. My relationship with God was great and still is. Finally getting closure. Finding out your ex didn't really "love" you kind of does that to you.

So in July I did something completely not like me. I joined a dating site.

So in August I had my first dates. I only had 3. One was interesting, one was awkward, and one was no words to describe it.

However there was always this one guy. He introduced himself and asked who I was then had 3 questions for me to answer. So me being the nice person I answered. I had other guys I was talking to at the time but there was always him with his questions. He didn't care that I didn't ask anything back. He was always there pursuing me. So after 3 failed first dates and another guy using somehow. I started to pray about the annoying guy. Because he had asked to Skype me or text me and I always said no. He was like ok and then went on asking me questions. So God was like give him a chance. At first I was hesitate because he looked like MAG. Then God was like he's not my daughter. So after a month of messaging I finally gave the go ahead. Yes we can Skype and I am so glad I did.

Yes guys this is JBK. Haha.

I am now in relationship that is about being best friends and boyfriend/girlfriend. I am now in a relationship where I laugh all the time. I am now in a relationship where people say I "glow" when I talk about us.
I am now in a relationship where it doesn't revolve around one person it is about us. I am now in relationship when he will pick up the phone and call me when I need him even if it is 1 AM. I am in a relationship where there is no withholding of anything.

I am so thankful and so blessed to have this man in my life. He is my knight in shining armor and I call him that. And he calls me his princess. :) I can't wait to see where this goes. :) I am def starting to fall for him.

Thanks for reading. Love y'all.


  1. thanks for sharing!! think how much worse it would have been if you had slept with MAG, so glad you didn't! praying for you :)