Friday, February 22, 2013

98th post!?

Wow.. This is my 98th post. When did this happen!? So I'm going to do a giveaway of my favorite things and vlog possibly for my 100 posts!! You can ask me anything you want!? Nothing is off limits. Now to my post. Ok you may need the tissues for this I don't know. Haha.

I've written about my past a few times on here but not a lot. My past makes me who I am. Do I have regrets? Sure. Do I have scars? You bet. This is my outlet where I come to vent. I have a realized a lot of things this past year. Some of it good and some of it bad. I'm about to open up and talk about some of those.

I come to realization about my ex. My relationship with my ex was toxic.
I put everything into that relationship. I wanted it to work so badly and wanted somebody to love me. Now almost 11 months later I realized my ex emotionally abused me. He didn't care if I was happy if I was happy he would bring me down. He did not like my family and made me eventually not like them as well. I'm so glad God rescued me from that.

my man. Oh man. Words can't even describe my love for him. Like really. You know the feeling that person you are supposed to be with completes you. Well it is true. I know I have only been dating him for almost 5 months unofficially and 4 months officially. But he does. He mended that heart that was bruised, cut,etc. I now have a better relationship with my family because of him. And my family loves him too. I have a relationship that based on both people's happiness not just one person. I thank God every day for him putting him in my life.

However there are still moments I feel ashamed of myself. That he doesn't deserve me. That I'm too broken, dirty, etc for him. Because he is so good. Like I'm his first girlfriend at him being 26.

I'm getting better day by day though. And you know what he still loves me.

There's so much I could say but I'm going to let this be it.




  1. I think a lot of people have had toxic ex's. I sure know I have. And they are in your life for a reason. You learn what you don't want, what is important to you, and what you really need from a partner. I know it took me a long time to get rid of my ex for good. I kept going back to him because he was what I knew. He was what was comfortable to me. When we finally cut ties, it was so freeing. It's a great feeling knowing you can move on with your life.

    And you have found someone who treats you the way you should be treated. Isn't that the most important thing?

  2. I think most people have at least one toxic ex. I had one and I am who I am today because of things I went through with him. He lied to me, manipulated me, and was just not good. I learned so much from it though, and I'm glad that we were together so I could learn. Now I have my Hubby, the man of my dreams, who treats me like a queen...and it sounds like you've found the same thing :)