I have been in a blog runt and a runt in general. The weather here in Alabama is so bipolar. Last week if snowed last week then it was sunshine. Then yesterday there was a storm yesterday and now it was cold, windy, etc.
So I decided to do if you really knew me post so you can know more about me. This is a very serious post. Get the tissues ready.
If you really knew me I suffer from anxiety. Like I worry about everything. But mostly my grades, what people think, my family, and my friends. I take medicine for it.
If you really knew me I suffer everyday with depression. My depression has been on and off since I was 13. So almost 10 years.
If you really knew I almost killed myself when I was 17. I didn't have any friends. I had a lot going on.
If you really knew me I'm scared I'm going to lose JBK because of my anxiety and depression . And also I somewhat suffocate him as well. And I also feel like I'm going to lose him because of those things.
If you really knew me this time last year I was in a really bad place and I'm so glad I'm not there but I'm still struggle everyday.
If you really knew me my ex boyfriend screwed me up in so many ways and I'm struggle with it.
If you really knew me I am so glad I have JBK because he helps overcome those struggles. He encourages me. He talks when I'm down.
If you really knew I almost cried when I saw my weight at the Dr. last week. I'm the heaviest I have ever been. I'm ashamed myself.
If you really knew me I'm scared about graduating now in 93 days!!
If you really knew I'm a people pleaser.
If you really knew me I put others before myself.
If you really knew me I had to grow up when I was a kid. My mom's side of the the family is messed up. ( that's another blog post for another day) it got worse after I turned 13.
If you really knew me I'm the liberal one of my family. My family is conservative as all get out. Haha.
If you really knew me I don't think I'm beautiful even tho JBK thinks so.
If you really knew me I love my followers each and everyone of you!!
Thanks for listening to me.
Love,
Kaitlyn
Big internet hug for you, friend. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your heart with us. If you ever need to talk, you know my email! <3
ReplyDeleteDitto what Katie said. I'm here if you ever need somebody. You're so strong, though. Really, you've already been through so much. You're getting stronger every second.
ReplyDeletehugs hugs. I have had similar problems as well, especially the smothering your friends / boyfriend part. I'm always afraid people will find me annoying, so I'm annoying.
ReplyDeleteYou are so beautiful and I love you so so so so so so so so MUCH! Seriously Katiekins, you are awesome. Your anxiety and depression don't make you any less of a person. Keep you head up, your tiara's slipping! :)
ReplyDeleteKaitlyn, you my dear are more precious than you realize. I am lucky to have you as a best friend. You're my S.S. and I'm your W.W.! Anytime you need me, call me. If I don't answer, text me. I worry about smothering people as well. It's why I don't like texting/calling people all the time. Don't be ashamed of yourself. If you want, you and I can be "diet partners." I love you, Kaitlyn!
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